Walking for Dummies

#CarbWeekend

Tue, 30 Apr 2013 23:37:00 -0400

So I visited NYC last weekend. Here’s a glimpse of what went down.

Bagels.

Pizza.

Heart A-Frigin-Tack.

Oh, and not pictured above are onion rings and red velvet fro-yo.

Needless to say, I went buckwild Why? Because I decided that starting tomorrow I’m going to do a Whole 30, which is basically a month straight of strict Paleo. Because let’s face it, I need to prepare for this horrible thing called swimsuit season (I know, I just gagged too.). I’ve been doing pretty well with the diet other than what you just saw, but there have been some forbidden foods (a.k.a. jars and jars of peanut butter and “veggie” chips) creeping in. While they don’t make me feel awful in terms of aggravating my ankle pain, they do have a somewhat negative effect, making me feel a bit cranky and groggy. I always feel more alert and happier on Paleo. Maybe it’s a placebo effect, maybe not. But regardless, it’s time to ditch the processed food blues.

Anywho, I’m going to try to stay accountable by giving more frequent updates. Not just about what I eat because, blah, that’s boring. But I’ll try to list some tasty recipes and fun tid bits about my day. And if there are none, I’ll just write you a haiku about my latest online dating experience, which will probably go something like this…

Had a couple drinks

He didn’t look much cuter

Time to fake a call

Back to my NYC trip for a quick sec: My feet rocked the sh*t out of that city! Honestly, I was a bit nervous to do a lot of walking, but they held up great. There were subway rides, frolicking around Central Park, walking to bars, and even standing for prolonged periods in said bars. I know! I almost feel like a normal person. And I got to see four of my favorite people: Stacey, Giselle, Ivy, and Heather! Holler, ladies. You rock my world.

Maybe I’ll tell you more about my trip later. Maybe not. But right now it’s time to hit the hay.

Peace, Love & Carbs,

Steph

Progress! Kiss my ass, Lyme.

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 23:20:13 -0400

I took about 20 jogging steps today! Ultra slow motion jogging, but it’s the fastest my body has moved in 3 years! Only in slight pain.

Also, I wore flats! That’s right, my feet handled that lack of arch support like a BOSS.

And yesterday I wore my boots that used to make me feel like I was walking on sharp rocks. BOOM.

The rest of my life may be a shit show, but my feet are doing damn good.

Maybe I’ll get to look cute this summer. The thought of non-orthopedic shoes and sundresses makes me so happy I’m sweating! (Gross, sorry).

Peace, love & PROGRESS,

Steph

Bacon is good for you. I promise.

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 20:27:00 -0400

Bacon is good for you. I promise.

My procrastination pancakes. This is what I do instead of my...

Sun, 07 Apr 2013 14:39:54 -0400

My procrastination pancakes. This is what I do instead of my taxes.

Paleo “bread” topped with avocado, bacon, and egg....

Sun, 31 Mar 2013 13:22:44 -0400

Paleo “bread” topped with avocado, bacon, and egg. #paleo

Boston Bibb Lettuce is the Jam: Paleo Tacos in the House

Thu, 21 Mar 2013 09:09:00 -0400

So I love this lettuce. I’d always seen it in the produce section and been like, pshh, Boston Bibb lettuce is for babies. Gimme my hearty romaine and spinach. But that’s because I was a troubled non-Paleo soul. Last month, however, my hankering for meals you eat with your hands reached an all time high and I realized this was the perfect solution to my “I’m not allowed to eat delicious taco shells or tortillas” dilemma.

That looks pretty rad-iculous, eh? (rad and ridiculously good = radiculous…use it, make it a thing, change the world). Anyway, you can stick whatever the heck you want in these puppies, but a bit of advice: Double up on the lettuce leaves if you’re filling them with a boat load of deliciousness or something that’s warm. They’re a tad delicate.

I hate writing out recipes, but here’s a very non-precise version of what I made above. It’s all about trial and error, so play around with proportions and get your hands dirty. Whenever I make these I end up with cauliflower bits in my hair and curry sprinkled all over my stove.

Sweet ‘n Savory Curry Chicken Tacos

1) Saute onions, garlic, and olive oil in a skillet on medium heat

2) Add raw cauliflower (probably 1/4 of a small head, chopped) to a food processor and pulse until it’s a rice-like consistency. Then add it to the skillet with the ingredients above.

3) Stir with a wooden spoon or spatula for a bit, then add a can of chicken (Like a can of tuna, but it’s chicken…thought I’d clarify since I didn’t know this existed until about a year ago. You probably knew this.)

4) Stir/mix/cook it all together in skillet until cauliflower “rice” and chicken are well combined. Then add curry powder (or spices of choice), and raisins if you like. I find the flavors complement each other nicely.

5) Add the mixture to your lettuce “taco shells” and you’re done

6) Eat ‘em up

In case you’re wondering why I use cauliflower, it’s because it takes on the flavor of whatever you’re cooking with and has very few calories. So it’s a nice way to make your dish feel very hearty and filling without turning into a heifer.

Enjoy! Let me know if how they turn out if you make them.

Peace, love & radiculous lettuce,

Steph

banana + almond milk + cocoa powder + coconut flour + almond...

Wed, 20 Mar 2013 08:06:40 -0400

banana + almond milk + cocoa powder + coconut flour + almond butter + sweet straw = delicious.

Embrace the Random

Sat, 09 Feb 2013 16:31:15 -0500

So today I got coffee with a girl I met randomly at Barnes & Noble a few weeks ago. Here’s how we met: She said she liked my boots, I said thanks and that I spent too much on them. We ended up talking about being tall, about being short, about loving heels, and about hating them, about me being new to the area and having no friends. Then we exchanged numbers and said we’d get coffee sometime. Maybe people do this, but I don’t do this. It felt oddly like we made plans to go on a date, but she said she was married, and thus my irrational fears about being picked up by a woman were extinguished. So I thought, why not?

Fast forward to today. We met at the same Barnes & Noble Starbucks and had coffee. Talked about random things, Lyme disease, acupuncture, organic food, jobs, the Paleo diet, coffee addiction, and the weather. It was nice. I don’t know if we’ll be friends, but it was a pleasant way to spend part of a Saturday afternoon and break this monotonous work/gym/home cycle I’ve been in.

So you never know who you’ll meet when wearing a pair of kick-ass boots. Maybe next time I’ll pick up my future husband.

Peace, love & possibilities,

Steph

Cauliflower the Magnificent: Paleo "rice" up in here

Thu, 07 Feb 2013 21:49:00 -0500

So cauliflower. Boring as shit, right? Hell nah, kids. It’s actually pretty dang versatile. Being on the Paleo diet comes with its restrictions, so you have to get your hands dirty in the kitchen if you miss your grainy side dishes like rice and quinoa. With a little creativity, cauliflower can quell your urge for lots of forbidden foods. Today we’ll cover rice. Check it out…

Sweet ‘n Savory Curry Rice

Rando Rice (I don’t even remember what I put in here, but it was good)

It’s pretty basic to make. The only essential ingredients and tools are cauliflower, oil, a food processor, and a pan. You can choose any other ingredients or spices you like to make a customized rice creation. Here, I’ll give you my Paleo Curry Rice recipe.

Ingredients: Unless otherwise noted, use however much of each of these ingredients as you want.

1/2 head of raw cauliflower
chopped onion
minced garlic
curry powder to taste
chickpeas
raisins
chopped cooked chicken

1. Chop cauliflower and place in food processor. Pulse until it reaches a rice-like consistency (fluffy but not yet pasty)

2. In a pan, saute onions and garlic in olive oil. Add in cauliflower and stir with a wooden spoon or using a spatula until heated.

3. Add in other ingredients and spices. I sprinkled in curry, raisins, chopped cooked chicken, and chickpeas at this point.

4. Stir over heat until all the flavors mix. There’s no set time of formula. Just keep tasting it.

5. Salt to taste. Eat!

I literally make this all the time now. You can serve it over a bed of baby spinach, make a simpler version and top it with stir fry, or add egg to make it like fried rice. Go crazy, kids! It’s your damn dinner.

Peace, love & yum,

Steph

I ate pasta! My feet feel good! And other updates.

Sat, 02 Feb 2013 17:47:00 -0500

Did I entice you with the title? Bet I did. So I haven’t posted in about 10 years. I guess it probably only feels that long for me since the amount I blog is proportional with my self-worth. Anyway, because it’s been a while, I’ll try to touch briefly on all points.

Feet: Breaking news, folks…I just did 12 minutes on the elliptical at the gym. Big whoop? I beg to differ. Lately I’ve been doing the stationary bike as my feet have been improving, but today I made the big jump to standing exercise. Honestly, I’ve been so nervous to try it since I’m used to the slightest thing causing a major setback. Probably since the majority of 2012 was spent just barely being able to walk for 2 minutes at a time in orthopedic shoes (oh, and with a cane). And if I did more than that, well, I might not be able to walk at all for a week after. So yeah, big whoop indeed. I’m seriously starting to think that this Lyme disease diagnosis was the right one. I’m on my fourth month of my twice daily antibiotic cocktail, and aside from the occasional gastrointestinal distress (Sorry, too much?), I’m continuing to improve. In fact, I’m actually wearing non-orthopedic shoes. And the grocery store? I navigate those aisles like a mother of five with a purse full of coupons. I’m not sure if that analogy worked, but I do well is what I’m saying.

Job: Decent. I feel like an overwhelmed retard (again, sorry..but true) sometimes, but the healthy drinks feature I worked my bum off on is in the Feb issue of Prevention on newsstands now. Pick up a copy…even if you’re not a 40+ woman. And write in and say you like it so my bosses think I’m a competent employee that they want to keep around. In other work news, I really enjoy our cafeteria. My new obsession is getting celery with peanut butter at 3pm. I think I’m actually the only person who buys the peanut butter. Which is fine with me.

Social life: Leaves much to be desired. But I’m an old lady, so it’s fine. I mean, I’m spending a Saturday at Starbucks writing this blog, and I’m sort of okay with that. I also took myself to the movies the other week. I’ve made a couple friends at work, which is nice for grabbing drinks, venting about work and guys, and not going crazy. And I found a book club on meetup.com that someone at work goes to, so I think I’ll be joining that. I hear they meet at a bar, which sealed my decision. Oh, and Stacey came to visit me last weekend, which rocked. We painted our nails, talked about boys, and drank fruity cocktails.

Random: I’ve been cooking a lot and I love it. I actually never really got that into cooking at any of my previous apartments because I was afraid of messing shit up in the kitchen and pissing someone off. Plus, I didn’t always want to share the fruits of my labor. Now I mess shit up to my heart’s content and I eat ALL of it. I make this awesome curry cauliflower rice creation which I’ll have to blog about soon. It’s my Paleo replacement for grains, and it’s surprisingly satisfying. I also had pasta for the first time in over a year. Paleo-approved pasta, that is. A company called Cappello’s makes grain-free, gluten-free fettuccine, gnocchi, and lasagna sheets from almond flour, eggs, tapioca flour, potato starch, and sea salt. The verdict? Tastes like pasta, but much more filling. Look, it’s so pretty….

Oh gosh, there’s probably more I could say, but like I said, I’m at Starbucks…and now my battery is dying, I have to pee, and I’m getting hungry.

Peace, love & pasta,

Steph

Homemade stirfry on cauliflower rice. #paleo

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 20:08:10 -0500

Homemade stirfry on cauliflower rice. #paleo

Every once in a while...

Thu, 06 Dec 2012 10:25:40 -0500

…I’ll walk to the bathroom, or to the kitchen, or wherever, and forget that my feet have hurt for the past two years. I’ll have moments where I feel almost normal. Maybe that means something’s finally working. I can only hope. I think of where I was last year at this time, on crutches and in a big-ass boot, and I’m so grateful for the progress I’ve made. I don’t know if it will last, or what will happen next, but I’ll take it for now. I think I might be on the right path. Whatever happens, at least today feels pretty good.

Some necessary inspiration

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 06:30:00 -0500

Promise yourself to be so strong that nothing can disturb your peace of mind. Look at the sunny side of everything and make your optimism come true. Think only of the best, work only for the best, and expect only the best. Forget the mistakes of the past and press on to the greater achievements of the future. Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others. Live in the faith that the whole world is on your side so long as you are true to the best that is in you.

-Christian D. Larson

Sunday Funday Paleo Recipe: Rosemary & Almond Flour Biscuits

Sun, 02 Dec 2012 17:32:00 -0500

These were freakin awesome. I made these Paleo biscuits on Thanksgiving because I really really wanted something with the consistency of bread. I miss ripping into warm flaky, buttery carbs. I also believe that a biscuit is an essential component to what I like to call “the perfect Thanksgiving bite” — chunk of biscuit topped with cranberry sauce, turkey, sweet potato, gravy, and a bit of stuffing, all consumed in one mouthful. Now, I didn’t come up with the recipe, but it’s pretty kick-ass, so I’m sharing it below. You can find the original by clicking here.

Rosemary Almond Flour Biscuits

2 1/2 cups blanched almond flour, plus 1/2 cup for dusting

1/2 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 cup coconut oil, melted

2 eggs

1 tablespoon honey (optional…but recommended)

1 tablespoon fresh rosemary, chopped

Instructions

Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper.

Combine almond flour, salt, baking soda, and rosemary in a bowl. In a separate small bowl, whisk together eggs, honey, and oil. Mix wet ingredients into dry until a nice dough forms.

Roll the dough out until it’s about an inch thick and use a biscuit cutter to cut rounds out of dough. Place biscuits on prepared baking sheet lined with parchment paper. If you don’t have a biscuit cutter, just form 1-inch thick round biscuits with your hands (that’s what I did).

Bake biscuits for about 12 to 15 minutes or until golden. Makes about 12 biscuits.

Peace, love & Paleo,

Steph

Baby steps. Seeing if my feet can tolerate a stationary bike...

Sat, 01 Dec 2012 09:45:30 -0500

Baby steps. Seeing if my feet can tolerate a stationary bike workout. Feels good to move my limbs!

Heartburn, Lyme disease, and puppies (oh my!)

Fri, 30 Nov 2012 08:17:00 -0500

Like the title? Yeah, this is going to be a miscellaneous shit show of an update.

I’ve been a major slacker with the health updates. Chalk it up to my new job and super active dating life. Meaning: chalk it up to my new job. Anywho. I’ll try to cram a lot into one post without boring you. First this: I went to the ER the other day!

On Sunday I had a little bout of heartburn, which morphed into super mega death by burning fireball heartburn that lasted for approximately seven hours. It came in waves. I’d have a period of calm and then BAM it felt like acid was slowly corroding my esophageal lining. Which it probably was. After a couple hours I called a 24-hour on-call nurse via my insurance company website (handy tool, ya’ll) who told me to take more tums and drink water with baking soda. Heart burn persisted. I called my sister and cried, then proceeded to call nurse #2 who told me to call 911. Why? Because apparently severe persistent chest pain, difficulty breathing, and jaw pain are also signs of a heart attack. Who knew?

I didn’t call 911. Cuz bitch please, I’d rather die than pay a hefty ambulance fee. I did pop an aspirin and drive myself to the ER, however, where I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t overflowing with people nursing their miscellaneous wounds or screaming infants. I used to live in Queens where I occasionally took advantage of the free clinic at Mount Sinai Hospital. That place that will scar you for life…or give you hepatitis.

Anywho, they admitted me and gave me an EKG, an IV full of something that made my veins feel really cold, and an esophagus-numbing elixir of white goo. After a few hours they said they were placing me in a hospital room for observation. Great, I thought, one or two more hours and I’ll be out! Nope. Nine more hours, four more EKGs, and three blood draws later…that’s when I was out. On the plus side, the staff was very pleasant, I shared a room with a delightful 79-year-old woman named Doris, the hospital makes a mean omelette (NOT a turkey burger), and I learned I wasn’t dying, at least not from cardiac issues. They advised that I see a gastroenterologist about my GI issues, because my symptoms are “too severe to be normal.” Woot. Maybe I have GERD. Or an ulcer. Then they told me to take Prilosec and sent me on my way.

The docs thought I might be having problems because of all the antibiotics I’m on. Wait, why am I on antibiotics? What a nice segue into the fact that I’m being treated for LYME DISEASE! Yep, that’s part two of this update.

I’ll save you a lot of the time consuming details, but in October I saw a Lyme disease specialist, Dr. Harold Smith in Bloomsburg, PA. He was referred by a coworker. I’d been told I should see a specialist by multiple people since I haven’t been able to get a real diagnosis for all of my miscellaneous pain symptoms.

The first visit was quite lengthy (four freakin hours) and we discussed literally everything about my medical history. He gave me a good rundown on why Lyme disease is such a pain in the ass to treat and diagnose, and by the end of it, he was pretty confident that I had it. That was his clinical diagnosis, at least. He also drew blood and sent it to IGeneX, a lab in CA that’s supposed to be the most reliable for Lyme testing. They did a Western Blot test in which they tested to see if I had antibodies for various bands of the disease. I did test positive for a few bands, and showed trace amounts for others. What does this mean? Well, it means that I could very well have Lyme, but it’s not a sure thing. So we’re continuing with treatment anyway, because really, I have nothing to lose at this point.

Treatment consists of long-term antibiotics. Three of ‘em. Yeah, my gut is quite pleased. So far I’ve been on them about a month. Not totally sure if they’re working or not. Apparently I’m supposed to experience a Herxheimer reaction — a temporary worsening of symptoms before I get better — but I’m not sure I have yet. All in all, my feet and ankles actually don’t feel that bad lately. I mean, I still can’t stand up too long or walk more than like 300 feet without having to take a rest, but I’m not in extreme pain every day. I’ll take it.

So that’s that. I don’t feel like talking about Lyme anymore. In brighter news, the parents and puppies came down to PA for Thanksgiving last week. See, here’s Duke begging for turkey:

I also made kick ass paleo biscuits, which I’ll have to tell you about later. That’s all for now. I have to go to work or something like that. Apparently I’m a grown up.

Peace, love & Prilosec,

Steph

Look at this craziness. I made Paleo burger buns! Same recipe as...

Tue, 27 Nov 2012 23:14:00 -0500

Look at this craziness. I made Paleo burger buns! Same recipe as my Paleo pizza crust: Almond flour, cauliflower, and eggs. Ta da!

Life update: Things are good

Wed, 17 Oct 2012 15:36:00 -0400

Hi, friends! So I just moved into my glorious apartment a week ago after spending the first three weeks of my new job/life commuting an hour each way from my aunt’s. Now I travel 3 minutes. BOOM! So pleased about this.

I haven’t done much exploring in my new town, but last weekend I did manage to venture out to a cute little bakery, aptly named Baked. The verdict: pretty damn good. They didn’t have any truly Paleo options, so I opted for a gluten-free snickerdoodle cookie. Freakin’ delicious. We all need a cheat day once in a while, amiright?

Here’s a quick glimpse at my apartment. Perhaps I’ll post more pictures later. Living room is big with sliding glass doors that go out to a small concrete patio (a.k.a. slab of concrete). This is also the first time I’ve had my own TV with basic cable. I’m so grown up. No rabbit ear antenna! My mom bought me a blue-ray DVD player, which I’m sure will be my downfall since I can now stream Netflix and have watched approximately 30 episodes of Breaking Bad over the past five days. Oh well, because holy crap that show is good. Also, can you tell I like magazines?

As for the new job, I’ve currently been here a month. I’m settling into my role nicely. Lots to learn, but I feel like I’m in the right place. More on that later.

Now that I’ve got the job and apartment nailed down, I need to go make some friends. Uh, hope I remember how to do that.

Peace, love & snickerdoodles,

Steph

The delicious Paleo banana bread I made last weekend. This...

Wed, 03 Oct 2012 08:57:00 -0400

The delicious Paleo banana bread I made last weekend. This recipe seriously rocks. Check it out at Elana’s Pantry.

Ch-ch-changes

Thu, 20 Sep 2012 17:35:00 -0400

Alright, so I gave a little teaser in my last post about moving to Pa. I moved for a job. Yes, that’s right, I’m no longer living with the parents. Although, I really miss the dogs…and the parents, I guess. But mostly the dogs.

I guess it was a good couple of months. There’s something to be said for living with your folks after you’ve grown up a bit and can actually see them as human beings, not just a pair of horribly un-cool creatures who spew out demand after demand and just don’t understand you.

Anyway, you may be thinking: Didn’t she leave her job in NYC because of her chronically crappy tendonitis-riddled feet/ankles? Didn’t she move home to heal? Why the heck did she go take another job? Or you might not be wondering that at all. That’s cool.

Basically, the stars aligned on this one. The job is in my field, in my exact area of interest, and it’s located in a small city where I can drive to work. Meaning: no straining my feet walking on concrete sidewalks or balancing on swaying subways while the smell of urine threatens to make my insides become outsides. The universe threw me a bone for once. I guess the “powers that be” decided that if they couldn’t heal my feet, they’d at least give me health benefits. How thoughtful, eh?

So I’ve been at this job about a week. The people are great, the building is nice, and get this, I actually have my own office. Not a big deal? Uh, I beg to differ, my friend. When your last job had you sitting in a low-walled cubicle in a high-traffic area near the giveaway table, where people would always exclaim, Oh, have you tried this snack? Is it good? Oh, what’s this thing?, then you can really appreciate an office with a door on it. A DOOR! I’m still giddy.

I also found an apartment that’s super close to the office, but I can’t move in for a few weeks. So for now, I’m living with my aunt who’s about an hour away. Yeah, it’s a pain the rear to be sitting in a car that long, but I’m whipping through some audio books, so it’s all good. Also, she makes me dinner, which is delightful, though it’s certainly not preparing me for my future culinary adventures in a single-occupant household.

I’ve never lived by myself. This will be interesting. I guess I have to get over my irrational fear of choking on baby carrots and no one finding my dead body until weeks later. Sorry for the morbid thought, but I literally almost choked on a baby carrot today. Maybe I’ll just stop buying them…

That’s all for now. More later.

Peace, love & health insurance,

Steph